What now, Facebook?

Facebook you are The Douchebag of the Week.
You seduced us like no one ever has. You were so promising.
It took us a while to get used to you, but in no time you made us feel comfortable enough to start writing stupid & very public messages on peoples walls. After that came the pictures. We were so naive. We uploaded years of bad decisions and hair cuts.
College, remember that?
You were so caring. Wanting everyone to stay in touch.
Until you dropped a bomb.
We weren't enough.
You opened yourself up to the entire world.
You have a friend request from you mother. From your boss.
Really?
We love our moms to death, but hey, they sent us to college to study. Instead, we look like we were on a 4 year spring break program.
Major in drinking with a minor in table dancing.
And as for our bosses, now they can see why we didn't come in that Monday morning.

High five Facebook. Now what? Will you start to suggest we become friends with people we don't know or don't want to become friends with? Oh wait, you are already doing that!
What about those advertisements you put in our profiles?
We don't wanna take part in an internet weight contest, we don't need therapy, we are not moms...
If you are gonna target us, make sure you do it right.
P.S. Apple does not make a pink Macbook Air. So stop it.

You are a sell out. Money is all you think about.
Here we were, innocently trying to keep in touch with our friends while you figured out ways to own us.
Now, you have everyone by the balls.

We can't live without you, you are like a drug. The most damaging relationship that we've ever had. There's nothing worse than being tricked into a douchebag's plot.
We can't wait to figure out a way to break up with you.

Oh yeah, just because you failed at buying Twitter, doesn't mean you need to copy it, Asshole.

Peace & Love,

Jess & Joey


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