Welcome to our second session of Douchebag Magnetism 101.
Last week we learned the key topic for DBM 101: Education Through Classification. The following douchebags are most likely to be encountered during those first few weeks of dating.
1. Investment Bankouche: he sure loves talking... about money.
Hold it right there! Money came up on the first date? He is probably (for sure) lacking in other departments. Thank him for the fancy foie gras and scallops dinner, and walk away.
2. The Madouchian: now you see him and... abracadabra, now he's gone!
Just beware that once he comes back, because he will, you are the one to have pulled the magic act of disappearing for good. (refer to Houdini)
3. The LOL Douche: incapable of making a phone call and spelling out actual words. "What r u doin' 2nite? lol" (Received at 3:14am). Everything is via text... even the indecent proposals.
Text him back saying: "OMG, I'll totally poke the hell outta u if u text me again @3am, lol" And ask him what part of "what are you doing tonight" is so funny he is laughing out loud.
Sharing is caring!
One of you, who has preferred to be left anonymous, has found and named another type of Douchebag:
4. The Dumb Douche: A Guy who hates Douches but doesn't have the balls to ask out the pretty girl, hence making him the Dumb Douche.
Get you act together and ask the girl out. You didn't have her before, so you won't miss her if she says no.
E-mail us your Douchebag encounters and we'll classify them for you!
Just remember: Say NO to Douchebags!
See you next next week!
Peace & Love,
Jess & Joey
© 2009. Chic, Broke & Confused. All Rights Reserved.
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What classification of douche would I be!? You know who this is...
ReplyDeleteOh douche bags there are so many out there. There's the gentlemen douch who is polite, treats you right but when ur not around theres no phone calls no texts not even a hello on your instant messages.
ReplyDelete