Douchebag Magnetism 101: Session 4

Douchebag Magnetism 101 is back in Session!

Summertime: Peak season for a familiar feeling called remorse.
But before we get to those, here are a few of the latest encounters:

1. The Flakey Douche
Constant irritation? Flakeyness? Head & Shoulders won't do the trick here. A call from the girlfriend he forgot to mention just might.
Wants to meet at odd hours (2AM-6AM)? Every time? Not only are you his booty call, you are the other woman.

2. "I want us to be Friends" Douche
Will not settle for less than fucking you and fucking you up, every time.
Instead of being fucked and later fucked over or just fucked up, just tell him to fuck off. Oops, is the word "off" allowed in a blog?

3. The Easter Douche
Note: Refer to Madouchian, as they are related.
He disappears, due to unknown reasons, and then comes back from the dead.
Are you religious? If not, don't believe in resurrection as it's kind of difficult - scientifically speaking. If you are religious, shouldn't a dude called Jesus be the only one allowed to come back from the dead?

4. Hokey Pokey Douche
Stop Poking me on FB you idiot.
Enough said.

5. MacGydouche
MacGyver: Inventive use of common items.
McGydouche: Inventive use of common excuses.
On a 3 hour excursion to buy milk:
-"Baby! You are not gonna believe what happened on my way to the grocery store!"
-Oh, I'm sure I'm not.

Just a few more reasons why your canceled trip to Cancun is a blessing in disguise.

Peace & Love,

Jess & Joey


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